etherwork.net

[David]

the end of the adhesive tape disappears halfway through wrapping a present

people throw litter onto the floor

some people think it's better to guess/lie rather than admit they don't know, even though they must realise that I'll find out

TV programme makers make fake reality TV shows full of actors and assume we can't tell the difference

we still think that we can get more life from batteries by taking them out and then putting them in again

some people are so terrified of wasps that they trample all over me to escape

the name "Sian" is spelled like that

some shop staff are told to follow customers around and constantly nag "Can I help you?"

some sneezes fade away before the actual sneeze

you meet teachers that obviously hate teaching and children

some people start eating food in the supermarket before paying for it

there are so many TV commercials that start with "Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?"

some dvds start playing automatically whilst you're making coffee

people jog on the road when the pavement is empty

you're the designated driver

several tv channels show different series of the same show

there are no cafés open early enough for you to get breakfast on the way to work

your reactolite spectacle lenses turn black in cold weather

dogs bark and snarl at you when you walk past their house

you get a paper cut in the corner of your mouth from licking an envelope

you let half of the air out of the tyre whilst disconnecting the footpump

you wash your black jeans with a tissue in the pocket

it rains all weekend and then it's dry on Monday

your filling makes contact with a piece of foil stuck to a KitKat

after a powerout you set your clocks to am instead of pm.

you hear a fantastic song on the radio and the DJ doesn't say who it was

people in the supermarket queue behind you rush over to a newly opened till

you can't look up the spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it

you spend ten minutes looking for your car keys before realising that you have them in your hand

ice cubes never just fall out of the tray when you turn it upside down

security guards follow you around a shop

you're out with the kids as someone with a huge red nose is approaching and just know that one of them is going to comment on it in a loud voice

you walk into a building with soaked hair and clothes and someone says "Oh, is it raining?"

you stand on a lego brick in bare feet

a Microsoft product gives you one of those error messages with all the EA0006 11000989 etc text as though you should know what it means

you find one of your post-it notes with a number on it that now means nothing to you

your mobile phone wipes the magnetic data on your airport carpark ticket

the flip-top shower gel catapults a glob of gel onto your eyeball

the auto-rewind cable on the vacuum cleaner won't let any cable stay out

you have a headache that lasts a whole day

you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark

the days when you need to clear ice/snow off your car are the ones when you haven't allowed any extra time in the morning to do it

you know you should be doing something useful with your life but instead you are reading this rubbish

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Congratulations David, you have become your father.

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http://davidstwistedmind.blogspot.com/