creative spamming

[ejm]

I have a program installed in Wordpress to separate likely spam comments from the legitimate ones as well as hold all comments in queue until I've seen them. I must say that I get a perverse pleasure out of seeing some of the more creative attempts to get a comment to go live.

Most of them, of course, are still remarkably lame. The following is slightly less lame, in that there is a pretense that the commenter is actually commenting legitimately. In an attempt to comment on "blog from OUR kitchen" post Lawn Sale Find: Vesuviana Coffee Maker

<b>free blogspot templates layouts and backgrounds...</b>

I read your blog post regarding motoring with much interest and would like to invite you to write a blog post exclusively for our website on the topic of irresponsible road users and bad behaviour on our roads. Please feel free to write your own views ...

Hmmm, how do you spell "off topic"? While it's true that I've ranted and raved about irresponsible road users and bad behaviour on our roads, there is not one mention about motoring on that particular post (except that the Coffee maker is electric).

But my favourite rejected comment today was this one:

Never, ever, ever, ever give up.

Ah. I guess I can look forward to many more comments from that robot....

[ejm]

For Do you have any nutella in the cupboard?, here are my favourites from today's attempts at commenting:

I consider, that you are not right. I suggest it to discuss.
I apologise, but, in my opinion, you are not right. I am assured. I can defend the position.
It agree, a useful idea
In it something is. Thanks for the help in this question.
I am assured, that you are mistaken.

Thanks for support how I can thank you?
The amusing information
In my opinion it is obvious. I will refrain from comments.
It cannot be!
Absolutely with you it agree. In it something is also to me it seems it is very good idea. Completely with you I will agree.

I like that the second one said s/he would refrain from comments. (Makes my job at deletion easier, doesn't it? )

[Barbara]

Thanks for support how I can thank you?
The amusing information
In my opinion it is obvious. I will refrain from comments.
It cannot be!
Absolutely with you it agree. In it something is also to me it seems it is very good idea. Completely with you I will agree.

I knew I had I had seen that style before .... and it suddenly came to me: magnetic poetry!

[Barbara]

Thanks for support how I can thank you?
The amusing information
In my opinion it is obvious. I will refrain from comments.
It cannot be!
Absolutely with you it agree. In it something is also to me it seems it is very good idea. Completely with you I will agree.

I knew I had I had seen that style before .... and it suddenly came to me: magnetic poetry!

You should gather them up and do an installation at the museum. "Spammer Poetry".

[David]

Wouldn't it be fun to see haiku spam:

Thanks for the support
Amusing information
It is obvious.

[ejm]

You should gather them up and do an installation at the museum. "Spammer Poetry".

Good idea! Maybe I can get a Canada Council Grant to pay for my felt pens and plaster board.

Wouldn't it be fun to see haiku spam:

Thanks for the support
Amusing information
It is obvious.

Excellent notion
I must implement that soon
In all my replies

[ejm]

Wouldn't it be fun to see haiku spam

I should make a note
for all the spammers to see
"Only Haikus please"

[Barbara]

I do laugh out loud
At the haikus written here
Bravo to you both

(Mine is not haiku
It is merely syllables
That meet requirements)

[ejm]

(Mine is not haiku
It is merely syllables
That meet requirements)

But I like it! Bravissima!

In an attempt to comment on Do you have any nutella in the cupboard?

It is a pity, that now I can not express – I am late for a meeting. I will return – I will necessarily express the opinion on this question.
I confirm. I agree with told all above.
The excellent answer, gallantly
Completely I share your opinion. I like your idea. I suggest to take out for the general discussion.
In it something is also idea good, agree with you.

oh Goodness how sad
that I completely forgot
to ask for Haikus.

This attempt could so easily have been turned into this group of Haikus and then I would have to have allowed it, wouldn't I?

It is a pity
that now I cannot express
- late for a meeting

But I will return
exc'lent answer galantly
I confirm; agree

Completely I share
for general discussion
Good. Agree with you.

(Alas, I cannot remember to what the person was linking - he/she forgot to include it in the response and merely added it at the end seemingly as an afterthought.)


edit:

O la la c'est drole
aber ich habe alle
my German forgot

Rats!! Now I have to go to a meeting so can't try to think of how to get the last line into Italian or Spanish. Muy mal!

(This haikuing is so much fun that I'm thinking I should add another sub rule for the forum.)

[ejm]

Today (20 May 2010), in a failed attempt at commenting on a blog post dated Wednesday, 23 August 2006

Hello there, I couldn’t see any means to contact you, and so I really hope that you see this comment. I have a website about garden tables, and wondered if you would like to exchange links with me. I have entered my email address in case you would like to get in touch. Thank you.

Oh please. While the "contact me" link on the sidebar and the "contact" link at the bottom of the page may be in somewhat small print, both are there in full view.

Do you think this person has been looking for the contact link since 2006 and has only just now figured out how to press the comment button?


Haiku version of above

Can't find contact link
want to exchange links with you
- got garden tables

[David]

The "contact me" link
Can be found on the sidebar
Right there in full view

See the "contact" link
Sitting there at the bottom
In somewhat small print

[ejm]

In a failed attempt at commenting on basil pesto with whole pine nuts (WHB#35: basil)

i love to eat asian foods because they are tasty and spicy.

Aside from the fact that she failed to frame her comment in Haiku form, I'm not quite sure what Choe's point is. Is she saying that the basil pesto with whole pine nuts is unappealing because of its lack of spiciness? Or was she attracted to the brief mention of "Thai (Ocimum 'Siam Queen') basil" and thought this meant the whole post was about Asian food? Maybe she has eaten McDo's all her life and thinks that anything different from the McDo's menu is exotic and spicy?

Hmmm... on second thoughts, perhaps Chloe has just undergone a little too much cosmetic surgery. I should email her to give her one more item for her FAQ.

==================
And speaking of distractions...

I do love basil
Especially in pesto
Mmmm... emerald green